taking risks

Dating & Lifestyle Kickstart Guide in Review

As we prepare for an amazing SXSW and wind down from the launch of the Wingman University Online Membership Program, I wanted to share some quick thoughts on the guide.

Remember when I declared 2011 the Year of the Hustle? I meant it. But just because you didn't start when I started, or when your friend did, doesn't mean it's too late for you to start.

Sometimes you just can't get started when you'd like to. And that's ok. I would rather you be ready to go now and able to put in 1000% effort than to take on the added responsibility, knowing you have other things that will take away from that 1000%. The only way you'll reap the benefits is if you fully devote yourself to it.

Here's the full overview of the 4-week Dating & Lifestyle Kickstart Guide, so you don't have to look for it.

How A Client Helped Me "Get Lucky"

This is Week 3 of the 2011 Dating and Lifestyle Kickstart Guide. Thursdays, we cover the dating aspect. If you missed it, here is week one's dating component. Here is week two.

I want to share something awesome that got lost in the fray. I helped a friend, Tim, on Twitter, who was also a client of mine, handle some important issues in his life. My advice, combined with his action, did so well for him, he was willing to pay for another client’s session with me.

And after working with the Alex for an hour, this is what he had to say shortly after,

I double dare you.

 

2011 Dating & Lifestyle Kickstart Guide Overview (Part 3 of 4). If you'd like to follow along from the beginning, please check out the introductory video, part 1 and part 2 of the overview.

Here is a story of a client who really didn’t want to work with me.

I have friends and other people who will tell me they know someone who could use my services. I always appreciate people who will go to unusual lengths to help out a friend. For those who are serious about helping out their friend, I have them bring their friend out to meet me over drinks and something I call, a “reverse intervention.”

Why people who don’t choose to be single stay single?

2011 Dating & Lifestyle Kickstart Guide Overview (Part 2 of 4). If you'd like to follow along from the beginning, please check out the introductory video and part 1 of the overview.

In over two years of coaching, I’ve talked to hundreds of people about their dating lives and what they think is preventing them from finding someone. I can’t say I’ve heard them all but I’ve heard a lot. After I hear what they think, I ask them one question. 

The A-Rod Syndrome of Dating

This post was inspired by a conversation I had today with Single City Guy. You should check out his blog. He’s a great guy trying to make it in the interesting world of dating.

So, you feel like you’re a quality guy. You have the confidence to walk up to most women and start conversation. You can make her smile, laugh and feel comfortable around you quite easily. You feel like you’ll definitely get her number and even a date. She seems to love everything that you’re saying. Then, out of nowhere, it happens.

 

She walks away.

It almost seems like a dream. Just a few seconds ago, you two seemed to be sharing something special together and you definitely saw that interaction going somewhere much further than what actually happened. Most guys don’t even realize what they did wrong. Others may know and not know what to do about it. In the end, it comes to one simple thing that most guys are afraid of doing.

Closing. Sealing the deal. Getting the digits. Finalizing the transaction.

Whatever you want to call it, you still never do it. You’re so engrossed in conversation (which is not necessarily a bad thing) that you are unaware that it can end at any moment. You also could be even MORE afraid of getting that “brutal” rejection when you ask to see them again. You need to be prepared to step up to the plate and take the risk. It was just as much of a risk when you approached her, so why not go all the way?

Alex Rodriguez is the perfect comparison. For years, the man has dominated Major League Baseball’s regular season, putting up ridiculous numbers. He has even been the Most Valuable Player of the American League and everything, carrying his team to the playoffs. Then, when the playoffs came around, he would go missing. He put up the worst statistics (pretty much in history) of anyone of that caliber. People gave him so much grief, saying that he couldn’t perform under that pressure; he’ll never come through and whatever else you can describe being a failure at crunch time. Until, he were to come through, that was always going to be how people would describe him.

“He’s cool, but…”

“Yeah, he’s great, but…”

“He good, but he’s not clutch.”

Then, in this year’s playoffs, A-Rod finally came through. He put up monstrous numbers as he carried the New York Yankees to their 100000th championship (this will probably be the first and last time that I mention the New York Yankees on this blog).

That’s what you need to do. You need to step up and make it happen. Stop fearing the rejection and make the move. If you don’t, you’ll actually have an even worse feeling – one of regret, not knowing what could have happened. And let me tell you something, there’s nothing that will eat away at someone’s confidence more than constant regret.

Keep pushing and be your own Mr. October.

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Style Series – Taking Risks

This is the final post of my rather brief Style Series. You can check out the others here:

The Importance of Layering
The Real Meaning of Dressing Casual
Style Series - Peacocking vs. Accentuating

What does that even mean?

It doesn’t mean that you can wear whatever you want (sorry to those who were hoping sweats can be cool again).

But with some knowledge, experience and a good wardrobe foundation, you can afford to mix things up and take some risks to push your look.

If done successfully, you have the potential to become a trendsetter.

But that’s not the real reason why you would even bother taking risks, right?

No, it’s to create YOUR own style.

Your style can be hard to replicate. Your style can be hard to pull off on other people. But most importantly, your style says a lot about the kind of person you are and the amount of confidence you can exude.

I wanted to keep this short because there really isn’t much more to it. I’ll show you some pictures of what I mean.

Are you ready to take risks?

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