Guys have a hard time listening. And it’s one of the worst things that prevent them from connecting with women.
While I was working with a client in DC this past weekend, I noticed times when conversations with women were going great and other times they weren’t.
Consistently we figured out in the times they weren’t, he didn’t know what to say next.
This is a common issue for the men I work with.
Every Thursday, I will put up a top ten list of awesomeness, with short descriptions and tips. Feel free to laugh, enjoy and pass them around.
Top 10 Ways to Master
Speed Dating
I regularly get questions about speed dating. I've run my own fair share of speed dating events and have seen a lot. You only have just a few minutes to make an impression so it's important you put your best foot forward. Here are my Top 10 tips to help you.
Use these tips to be more engaging in your conversations.
With all the focus on what NOT to do on a first date, here's what you should REALLY be focusing on to make sure you'll get that second date.
It doesn't have to be so hard, guys.
Discipline.
I’ve had many people talk to me about how hard it is to approach and engage women. I give them the answers then they go out and do their thing. Weeks, sometimes days later, they’ll come back to me with the same problems. I ask them how many times did they try what I suggested and they only tell me a handful of times.
If that’s the amount of effort you’re going to put into your dating life, what can you possibly expect to get in return? Just because you decided to the take the risk ONCE or TWICE, doesn’t mean that you deserve to have women flock to you. And chances are those few attempts aren’t going to be successful.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s NOT going to be easy. The answers are simple but the work required isn’t. Like life, it’s not meant to be. Just like anything else, if you want it bad enough, you have to work hard to get it. If you want to feel comfortable talking with attractive women, you have to work on it - ALL THE TIME. There are NO days off. It requires really figuring out what you need to do, taking action and having DISCIPLINE.
Discipline is what gets you out of your own way. Discipline is what allows you to see improvements. Discipline is what gets the results you want.
It’s January 12. I hope by now, you have somewhat figured out a plan for improving your dating life. Once you take action, you NEED to stick to it.
You are going to fail, many times. You are going to make even more mistakes. There will be up and downs. But slowly and surely you’ll start to improve. Things will get better and soon you will accomplish things you’ve never imagined possible.
All you need is some discipline.
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There are some interesting points that I’d like to make about being single and learning how to become more attractive. I took these notes over 3 years ago and I am finally resurfacing them now. When I was pursuing a career in design, these ideas were really important to selling myself and delivering a message to my target audience. Now, I see some serious value in these same ideas when it comes to dating.
Use your ear. Listen and you will see. It sounds obvious but I still have to tell my clients how important it is to listen. As a guy, it’s imperative that you listen to what women are saying. Most of what she says WILL resurface in one way or another and how you step up will have an effect on your relationships and your ability to be that much more attractive.
We are in a digital age. Online dating is acceptable and more people are getting together and growing very strong relationships. I am getting more friends who have found their match online and are damn happy they did. We check email more than anything else these days. We’d rather text because it allows us to multitask. People even use the clocks on their phones as their modern day pocket watch! I’m not saying that this is right but it’s the way things are happening right now. Be more understanding and use these resources to your advantage.
Be fresh and groundbreaking. One of the keys to being the guy she’s never met is to live your life the way you want to and do things differently. For me, it was about living the following quote (before E & O became my mantra),
“Live for the line, not the dot.”
Live life for its journey, not the end. If you’re so focused on the outcome, not only will you lose focus putting significant pressure on yourself but you’ll also do the one thing life is meant for. Enjoying yourself.
Blur the lines and interrupt regularity. Piggy-backing the previous point, being someone that stands out gives you significant value. You are an individual. There is only ONE of you. Believe it or not, you are a walking rarity. Only one woman can potentially have the opportunity to be married to you. ACT like it. Anything that is unique about you is another opportunity to show people why you’re awesome. Which leads to the next point.
Be engaging or be DVR’d. If you’re not engaging, women will look elsewhere for entertainment. It’s that simple. Learn how to engage women more and women will want to stick around – even more, want to come back.
Expose yourself and create belief. Transparency and authenticity is wildly important in anything that you do. In dating, in order to REALLY get the type of woman that you want, you MUST be open and true to who you are. You almost want to be so passionate about being embracing your DNA, that it creates this element of positive belief. In other words, a woman can relate to you so much that they inherently believe in who you are and what you represent and that has infinite sex appeal.
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