I hope you guys are enjoying the Giving and Taking Series. It’s been a lot of fun and I will continue it on Monday and wrap it up at the end of the week.
But for tonight and this Memorial Day weekend, I wanted to give you some notes that I have in my iPhone. It inspired me to write this and I hope it can help you with something this weekend.
These are just some solid points that I kept reading to myself over several months to battle any fears I had about failing, rejection, meeting women and trying to do new things in my life.
Imagine yourself successful. Nothing positive will ever happen if you can’t even think that it could happen. Spend time to think about the desired outcome as detailed as possible. If it’s about dating, think about how awesome you’re going to look this weekend and the kinds of women or men you’ll be talking to. Think about how each interaction will be successful in one way or another. Maybe with one you’ll get a phone number and in another, you two will go to a different bar and have a mini-date where things can be more intimate. Whatever you want, make sure you can actually imagine the success happening.
Reflect on past success. When it comes to dating, whether it was “luck” or not, most of you have been successful with getting a number, or a kiss or even a boy/girlfriend. It has happened before and it can happen again. Think about some of the things that you did that made it easy for you to get that number or kiss. If you can’t remember that, then think about the qualities about you that made him or her attracted to you. Don’t make it seem like you haven’t done this “dating thing” before. Most of you have and were successful. You’re just trying to create a level of consistency.
Set definite goals. When you go out tonight, have some clear objectives. Maybe for tonight, you want to find someone that you’re into and get his or her number. After that, you’ll want to follow up with him or her tomorrow and set up a date for Sunday. That’s just an example, but your goals should be pretty straightforward.
At the same time, don’t go out with these bottled up intentions because it will show through your body language and your conversations. Just keep them in the back of your mind as you’re interacting with people, check up on yourself every once in a while to see how you’re doing.
In the end, this is all a learning experience.
Respond positively to life. Being positive and just going out not only to learn but also to have fun is a huge to finding your success. At the end of the night, you still have yourself and the life that you’re living is something no one else can take from you.
Go out, have fun and no matter what, stay positive.
I’ll end this with a quote that was at the end of my notes. It’ll pretty much explain everything.
“Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds.”
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Your goddamn negativity, No one needs it. Editor's Note: This piece is by Nick Notas, our Boston Wingman Strategist and Confidence Coach. You can read more of his pieces at The Dating Specialist.