Your goddamn negativity, No one needs it. Editor's Note: This piece is by Nick Notas, our Boston Wingman Strategist and Confidence Coach. You can read more of his pieces at The Dating Specialist.
“God I hate BMW drivers!” “My ex-girlfriend was a crazy bitch.“ “Most people are just jerks anyway.” “I’m so miserable at my job.”
No woman wants to hear you complain — it’s unattractive. You’re shooting yourself and your chances in the foot.
It’s no surprise women are in tune with their emotions. Negative energy is the last thing you want to her to feel when getting to know you.
She’s bound to associate you with all those bad emotions and you will make her uneasy. How do you think she’ll react if you’re dwelling on depressing topics?
Instead, follow these tried and true guidelines to keep your cool and make the best out of your interactions with women.
Never leave home angry
Going out frustrated and upset never ends well. When you’re in a bad mood you’re unable to think clearly and women sense it immediately. Relax for a bit and get your mind off of whatever’s bringing you down. Do something that makes you happy; I like to blast music or watch a couple of funny YouTube videos.
Keep foul language to a minimum
Swearing to emphasize a funny point in a story is acceptable while cussing like a drunken sailor is not. You might think it makes you sound cool and badass but it doesn’t. You look crude and demonstrate a lack of class that she’s going to pick up on. Way too many times I’ve a guy dropping f-bombs left and right and losing the girl’s interest. Be a gentleman and choose your words wisely.
Don’t bring her down
I know you may be itching to share your anger on the stupid guy who cut you off, but now is not the time. Is it really going to kill you not to vent about it? Talk about something that makes you both laugh, that gets you passionate, or tell her an interesting story. Stop complaining about the bartender or whining about money. I guarantee you’ll both have a better time.
She’s not your therapist
Spilling your life problems from the start scares women. It’s natural to struggle with issues but don’t make them the first things you bring up. You can’t break into a sob story about your ex or list the reasons why you hate your boss. Also, stay away from your cynical views on society and the world in general. It’s your job to engage her and unloading on her is sure to kill the magic of the moment.
Be a source of fun and lightheartedness for her. By switching to a positive mindset, the responses you get from women will change dramatically. I’ve worked with guys that fixed their attitude and went from frustrated to fulfilled in their dating lives. It’s not worth spending the energy when you could be using it to build a better connection and have a good time.