Wingman Unapproved

This is brought to you by MTV's Jersey Shore. On their Remote Blog, you get to hear from J-Woww, Snooki, Mike and Pauly D about how they feel about Ronnie and how he's been treating Sammi. They seem to agree with me. I personally think this is pent up rage coming from the aftermath of last season. Dare I ask what others think or am I opening Pandora's Box here?

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

I've been dating my bf for 2.5 years but during the 1st year he was seeing another girl behind my back. I forgave him & believe he's been faithful since, but recently I saw emails from 2 years ago btw them and regret forgiving him. What should I do?

Like cheating, regretting a major decision is a difficult thing to bounce back from. I could go on and on about this but in the end, you have to take a look at yourself and be realistic.

If you still can't handle the fact he cheated on you, even a year and a half later, signs tell me you haven't fully forgiven him. In that case, it may be time to move on.

However, don't let your emotion fool you. Seeing those emails (you guys should REALLY get rid of those) could have just sparked flash images of pain and these feelings are messing with your state mind, causing this regretful behavior. 

I'd wait a few days and see if you feel any different. If you feel just as bad, it may be time to re-evaluate your position in the relationship.

#wingtip | Accepting the Right Men

If every guy you've been with cheated on you, is it them, or is it you?

Life is Short. Have an Affair?

Really?

I remember walking with my girlfriend in NYC and there was an ad on the back of a newspaper that said, “It’s 8AM.” I couldn’t see the rest so I went in for a closer look.

“Do you know where your wife is?”

I couldn’t believe it. Then again, I could.

Ashley Madison has been VERY successful in taking advantage of people’s insecurities and temptations by creating a business to cash in on people's willingness to bend their morals. A site that’s dedicated to ONLY having affairs? It’s wild. This isn’t news to me (or to most of you) but I haven’t talked about infidelity on this blog much.

You see these ads all over the place and it’s TELLING you not only to cheat, but that it’s also ok. I’m not ignorant of the fact there are married couples out there who are open to including someone else into their lives. If both parties agree, then I personally don’t see anything wrong with that.

I would love for someone to let me know otherwise but I would assume that MOST people who go on the site are doing it secretly. THAT, my friends, is NOT cool.

What’s worse is that statistically, men would cheat on their spouse if they wouldn’t get caught. Really?

I’m not here to tell people what’s right or wrong. These are just my opinions and clearly, we are grownups. We’ll make up our own mind anyway. But considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce and people are getting married later in their lives, how many people can actually be devout to their significant other - and follow through?

What are your thoughts?

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Tough Love #6: Date Crimes

This continues my posts of Tough Love, a series of posts, giving direct advice to women based on the weekly VH1 show, Tough Love. If you have missed out on other posts, feel free to check out the other ones.

Week 1: Creating a First Impression
Week 2: Communication
Week 3: Being Sexy
Week 4: Daddy & Dating
Week 5: The Wow Factor
Week 6: Date Crimes

It has always been easy for women to prosecute men for their dating past. My dating past is not pristine and honestly, whose really is?

There are very few people who live the dating lives of angels and I personally think that is ok, as long as you are looking to and currently DO take action in making things better.

There really wasn’t much stuff here to talk about in this episode of Tough Love but I will talk about some of the crimes that the women of Tough Love were “on trial” for and how most men perceive these crimes to be on a scale from “not so bad” to “total dealbreaker.”

Cheating on your fiance: this particular type of cheating is pretty much the #1 dealbreaker for men. A reason why is one of the biggest fears in a guy is you reach a major point in a relationship where you think he's found the one and he proposes to you to be with him for the rest of his life.

You say yes and then as you two prepare for the rest of your lives together, you cheat on him with another guy? It’s just a terrible thing to do and it makes every guy wonder if you could EVER be in a committed relationship let alone more than that. At a certain age, that kind of offense will cripple you.

Destructively vengeful personality: once again, another serious deal-breaker. If you take pleasure in taking revenge on someone, especially one of the destruction of property nature, guys will NOT want to be in a relationship with someone who can’t control their emotions in a productive way.

What issues you may have, you need to be able to get them in check or seek a professional to help you. These kinds of issues will not hurt you with short-term relationships but if you’re looking for long-term, forget about it.

Dating a taken man AKA adultery: it takes two to tango and if you’re going after a man who is already taken (and you KNOW he’s unavailable), that is a red flag.

There are enough single, eligible men walking the earth that you don’t need to get into a relationship that is already made - I don’t care if it’s a breaking (broken) relationship. If it’s the attention you are seeking, you can get it elsewhere. It’s still cheating, even though you’re not the one in the relationship.

In these and other date crimes, they will all come back around and hurt you. Yes, I believe in karma, but that’s not the point. These types of consequences do NOT have to be in the form of the same act being done upon you. But they can play a factor in the reason why you may be still single now.

Any step to recovering from such crimes will have to deal with confronting them, being honest about them and most importantly learning from them.

Having said that, if you are looking for these types of date crimes or other potential red-flags from us guys, it’s better to be indirect with your approach when you’re initially dating someone. From there, once the two of you become more comfortable with each other, you can start being more direct about what you’d like to know or are concerned with.

We all deserve to be with someone that is going to treat us right. We’re human and we do accept mistakes. The major thing is being mature and learning from them so that those same mistakes don’t become patterns and restrict you from being deemed “dateable.”

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How Tiger's Infidelity Will Help Him

Yesterday, I tweeted the following statement about Tiger Woods,

I think what he did was not the best idea. Even hearing the voicemail that was leaked, telling his mistress to clear his name from his phone gave me the chills. Here is a professional superstar (also known as an athlete), who has dominated his sport since he stepped into it, has made more money than anyone who has played anything with a ball, and has so much more time ahead of him to rule the sports world. Now, he’s in the middle of what he calls a “transgression.”

But what has he done that Kobe Bryant hasn’t done? Or Michael Jordan (gambling)? Or Andre Aggasi (drugs)? If anything, I really believe that this will be the point in which Tiger Woods finally becomes a man.

Everyone thought that he was untouchable. I’m sure he even felt the same way after a while. When you hear something so much, you start to believe it - doesn't matter what it is. He was so good at being concise, private with the public and making sure no one from the media was able to pry into his personal life. There was more information leaked out of Fort Knox then about his family. Then this very harshly brought him down to "our level of humanity."

But I think he’ll recover quite well. Maybe this will make him get out of his own stubborn ways and remember that his father left him to carry on his name with pride. Maybe this will make him refocus and reprioritze his life and his goals. Maybe this will make him realize that the media will do whatever it takes to get the information it needs that will help or destroy someone’s image and there’s nothing he can do to prevent that. Maybe this will teach him to man-up and accept more of his mistakes than just the major one he’s being scrutinized for currently.

I personally think now that he is “human,” he will be more lethal than ever, on and off the golf course. Just like how Michael [Jordan] came back, won another three championships and secured his right as arguably the best basketball player of all time, Tiger will make his surge, completely wipe out the record books and leave a stronger history than what he was already on pace to do.

For those who are reading, take this bit of advice. Do not do what he just did. It’s human to make mistakes, but not to cheat. Infidelity is just NOT cool. No matter what changes in your life, it’s important to stay grounded, be rational despite potential changes of emotion that may affect your thinking, and most importantly, maintain the E & O.

Like Tiger, you’ll survive.

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