We can all agree that 2016 was filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly. After declaring last year as the Year of Better, there were a lot of things that turned out SO much better.
More clients, marriages, engagements, expansions, new hires, and more!
Although it was the first time there was a much more definite word that became prominent in my life in 2016.
That word is transition.
And the truth is, we all go through stages of transition — some rougher than others.
Moving cross-country to Los Angeles with my wife was an exciting but unfamiliar move that took a lot longer to adjust to than I thought. For many months, I felt uprooted and unsettled. New friends, new space, new…everything.
My life both personally and professionally were out of sync, and happiness was a lot tougher to come by than before, despite trying many things.
Instead of feeling like getting out of this “funk” would be impossible, the focus shifted toward what good can be brought out of my new environment.
Business stabilized, made great new friends, took current relationships to new levels, and most importantly established a home with my wife. We couldn’t be happier together. And while it’s still work-in-progress, things are going in the right direction.
That’s what becoming a better person is all about, especially in the world of confidence, social skills, and dating.
In the time thinking about what the theme of 2017 should be, I came across the post-fight press conference of Dominick Cruz after he lost his championship against Cody Garbrandt at UFC 207 just last week.
You can check it out below:
When asked about having a tough night, his Cruz’s immediate response was, “What was tough about it?”
After the reporter said losing his match, what Cruz said after caught my attention.
“If you don’t have loss, you don’t grow.”
I was hooked.
Then the nuggets started coming out of his mouth as if I was watching a keynote speaker give a talk to an audience of one — me.
“We’ve seen the best in the world lose it and we’ve seen them get it back.”
Everything he was saying would make you forget the man just lost a world title. He was dressed to the nines, standing up before all the media and answering every question with the kind of honesty, pride, and confidence you wouldn’t expect.
“If you don’t have people who dislike you, then you don’t know what it feels like to be liked.”
That one resonated with me so much I had to post it to Facebook as my signing off of 2016.
As we look at what we want not just out of life but for those important to you, we need to realize it’s even more our responsibility and goal to have as much confidence to control your ability to create a life where everyone special to you can live a better life.
As Dominick says, “It’s all about making people better around you,” and when you can do that, you immediately become the most attractive person in the room.
But in order to start this journey, it comes down to one thing.
Choice.
You have 100% control of the outcome and it start with you choosing to take action.
That will be the theme of 2017.
Let’s take choice and use a very simple example we choose to make bigger than anything.
Connection and rejection.
The other night, I was out with a client and he asked me how can you tell if a woman wants to be approached (by him).
For those who know, there are guidelines for both men and women that can give clues — eye contact, open body language, and smiling, for example. But the reality is you never can 100% know. That has always been the reality.
Whether you have every clue or no clue, the moment you CHOOSE to go over and talk with her, you it’s a 50/50 shot of making a connection.
50% chance. That’s it. It never gets lower than that. In ANY circumstance.
At the end of the day, it comes down to choice (queue Morpheus in the Matrix).
No more excuses. You either do it, or you don’t.
We live in a world where people feel more empowered to say what’s on their mind — even if it’s derogatory or hateful against specific people — more than ever.
Life has always about choice. What’s more important is understanding there are choices that are out of your control and those are the ones you can’t worry about.
The ones you want to worry about are the choices you can control.
And depending on your choice, there’s a guaranteed 50% chance things can work out for you.
That’s where I am choosing to help myself. That’s where we can help each other.
You can choose to do nothing about changing the current situation you are in — and that’s OK. No one is here to judge you. But by doing so, you are giving up your ability to complain or be upset when things don’t change in your life.
But many of you will still complain nonetheless — once again, your choice.
Or, you can choose to take action, making changes in your life, and finally start to see the kind of results you’ve been hoping for.
Either choice you make belongs to you and only you — and it’s important to own it. There will always support available to you. Of course, if you choose to seek it.
Let’s choose to make things better.