One of the most beautiful places in the world.I wrote this while I was in Jamaica last week, helping prepare for and attending my grandfather’s funeral.
I was going to share this with my Labs members but decided to share this one with the world.
It’s more raw than my normal writings and hope you appreciate that.
There is always a lesson to be learned from every experience. Here’s is what I learned from mine.
It was my first trip back to Jamaica in 6 years. My family is from there and although I could have stayed with family, I decided to stay at an all-inclusive resort. Considering that I was staying with my older sister, brother-in-law, nephew and my mother, there wasn’t anyone that I could REALLY hang and party with while I was there. So I was on my own, which meant one thing. I had to create my own fun. Part of that was making new friends.
Here is one thing that you should think about wherever you are – especially when you’re on vacation. If you see someone you’d like to talk to, go and approach them. Chances are, you’ll never see them again, they are NOT going to blow you off (pending you’re not creepy), and if you do get rejected and there is any shame, you can leave it at the vacation spot. YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO LOSE.
When I went to the bar, I began talking with the bartenders, who were relatively young (around my age), and our conversation sparked conversation with other people at the bar. By the end of the first night out, I had made about 4 or 5 friends that I could hang out with while on vacation.
When it came to women, I feel when you’re on vacation, you should feel as though there is more room for mistakes because under the pretense of having nothing to lose, you can afford to make a couple errors. I’ll tell you what. The same thing applies when you’re back home. If a woman makes direct eye contact with you, she is telling you it’s ok to approach her. One night, a woman and I were exchanging eye contact throughout the night. I was having a good time with friends so I was in no rush force things. When I finally approached her, we ended up having a great time and spent a lot of our vacation together. There were other women who I talked to and made connections with but it all happened because I took action on a present opportunity. You need to do the same too, no matter where you are.
It’s not about being cool or letting her know how awesome you are. It’s about having fun and not caring about what could happen. You only have the ability to work with what IS happening at the moment and what you can MAKE happen.
Learn to spread your energy and your value wherever you are. People find that kind of personality infectious and they will gravitate toward you. I remember (for the most part – I had A LOT of alcohol while on vacation) every night I was talking with a different group of people. Some were my age, others were married couples that’ve been married forever, some had just got married, and so forth. I was listening to their stories and I was sharing mine. By the end of the night, people were dying to hang out with me again. And by the end of my vacation, everyone knew who I was at the bar. Bartenders knew me by first name and we taking care of me first (which helped my mother and brother-in-law get served a little quicker whenever they needed a drink). Some people threw a farewell get together for me on my last night. I even had people who were in the lobby looking for me when it was time for me to checkout and leave. It was one of the best true vacations that I have ever been on.
Since I’ve been back, there has been a drive stronger than anything I’ve had since I’ve started this blog and this company. My relaxation is at an optimal level. My sister said it best. “Dude, if you were any more relaxed, you’d be dead.” The vacation was a deal-changer in the sense that it’s changed my perspective on time, value, energy and everything else that’s important to me. The game has changed and that game is my life.
I am not boasting for the hell of it. These people were awesome and I plan on keeping in touch with as many of them as possible. I had an amazing time and these are the types of things that I have always taught my clients and blogged about incessantly. I hope you guys can take these tips and my experiences and make them your own. Whether you are in your hometown and know a lot of people or on vacation and know absolutely no one, you can make your experience an amazing one if you just let go, take some risks and live in the NOW instead of the future of POSSIBILTY and FEAR.
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Bar in Jamaica
I haven’t really talked about my time in Jamaica on here. I do have a dedicated article about the things that I learned while I was down there, which you will get to see soon. Needless to say, I vacationed HARD when I was down there. Every night was a crazy one and I had so much fun hanging out by the beach when I wasn’t partying it up. There are plenty of stories to tell and they’ll come out in due time. I do want to share one now from the Tuesday night I was down there.
So I went downstairs and hung out at the bar. I was supposed to meet up with a girl that I met a couple days before. We were hanging out a lot and that night was her last night. Anyway, when I got down there, I ended up talking to who ended up being a REALLY cool guy, Dave. He was from Sheffield, England, and was with a couple friends and their wives – all awesome people. Anyway, while we were all chatting it up having a good time, one of the other people at the bar wanted to get the bartender to put a cork into an empty wine bottle.
The bartender was struggling so he gave up and wanted me to do it. I was able to get the cork in almost all of the way just using my thumb and then the bartender – we’ll call him E – used a spoon to get it all the way in. Then the guy slyly asked the bartender to get the cork back out of the bottle. At this point, E and I were completely baffled. How the hell were we going to get the cork out of the bottle?
Well, while all of this was going on, I noticed three really cute girls on the other side of the bar. They were having a good time and enjoying the entertainment that was going on. While, I was checking them out, a REALLY big black guy showed up and sat next to them. He instantly started talking to one of them and it seemed like conversation was going well.
Back to the riddle…
So while E and I are trying to figure out how to solve this, the guy at the bar mentions that we would need a piece of cloth. E decides to go to the back to get a piece of cloth and I’m still standing there trying to think about how to get this damn cork out. The guy, smiling, starts explaining how he would use the cloth to get the cork out and out of nowhere, the black guy offers his shirt for the other guy to use. Yes, the shirt off of his back.
By the time E got back with a piece of cloth, he notices that someone is shirtless at the bar. He couldn’t help but laugh. What happened to girl he was talking to? Well, she didn’t even know his shirt was off because she was turned around, talking to her friends. When she turned back around and saw shirtless guy, she burst into laughter and turned right back around. I guess it doesn’t have to be said that conversation ended there.
And you know, it’s not to say that he didn’t have a publicly decent body. He wasn’t a fatty or anything but it should go without saying that taking your shirt off at a bar is NOT going to get you the ladies. Doesn’t matter WHERE you are. Well, maybe if you were at a nudist colony, but even then, you wouldn’t be wearing a shirt to begin with so it wouldn’t even be an issue.
DON’T TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. PERIOD.
For those who are curious, the guy was able to get the cork out of the bottle with the shirt. It was a crowd-pleaser.
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Where I am staying. The picture doesn't do it justice...
By the time you read this, I should be back home in Jamaica and on my way to the resort I’ll be staying at. The significance isn’t the fact that I’m actually going on a true vacation. For me, it’s actually the fact that I haven’t been home in 6 years.
I expect things to be VERY different in a few ways. I’m excited to be away from everything for some time off and to actually enjoy being with me and JUST me. Clearing my head, not having any worries and going nuts without regard for human life is something I think everyone needs as much as possible. Granted my mother, my sister, my brother-in-law and my nephew will be there (in proximity), but I’ll still be away from most of everything, which I think is totally healthy. I love what I do, and I believe that in order to continue to, I need to set off time for myself to maintain a healthy, spirited attitude. Anyway, I’m excited to see my family that I haven’t seen for over 6 years, including my grandfather, who is turning 95 soon. Crazy, I know.
On the other hand, being in a different country does have its benefits. If you’re in a country where women like American-speaking men, then you’re at an advantage (if you play it safe). Being in a third-world country, you get to appreciate more by having access to less. Also, there is a subtle disconnect from the United States that I enjoy. It gets me to learn about the internal affairs of another country’s government, culture, economy and other things that I’m curious about without having to be clouded by the media’s focus on one of the world’s super powers.
In the meantime, I have a few random blog posts set up to entertain you for the next week. Don’t be surprised if I post a random video or a blog post in between as well while I am down there. I think it would be fun to talk about life in a different country and how to develop a lifestyle in just a week. And as much as I don’t really want to look ahead, when I get back from Jamaica, things are going to pop off! There are some great things coming and I’m excited about them and you should be too. But I think it’s fair that after at least of year of hustling, I should be allowed to treat myself to an extended vacation.
For my clients, friends, family and those who want to contact me, you can still email me. It’ll just take a little longer to reply. I’ll let you know if I will have access to my cell phone when I get in.
If you don’t hear from me, have a great weekend, a better week and as always, keep it simple.
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