This is part 2 of a special 5-part series that talks about how to be an amazing wingman, written by my newest Wingman. if you know someone that would want to read this, Like and share on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I think everyone can benefit from these solid tips. Here is the previous entry to the series.
Wingmanship 101: Introduction
Wingmanship 102: What a Wingman SHOULD Do
Things to do as a wingman:
Talk to people.
Open up NEW sets of people and start conversation, then introduce your wingman. Give him a good introduction. Sometimes you can go over the top and state how awesome he is, but other times it’s nice just to say his name and let him show his value for himself. Really cool people don’t need to tell everyone they are awesome.
At some point, tell the group or person of interest something interesting about him, perhaps something he might be bashful to tell himself. This works particularly well for certain issues; money, fame or accomplishments would sound like bragging if he said them himself and even then they might take a while to come up in conversation naturally. However, you can include his accolades in the introduction or later in the conversation, and demonstrate how high of value your wingman happens to be. Also, at a club, it is important to say how he is a normal person. Grounding stories can do wonders for the later stages of the game...
Help with logistics, “taking one for the team.”
It’s on between your buddy and his girl. She is really hot, and they have been talking all night. Unfortunately that girl is out with a friend, and for whatever reason, she feels the need to talk about her 9 cats, also her breath smells like a toilet at a rest stop. Also, she may be unattractive. So, hopefully you have some semblance of standards and you two haven’t hit it off.
Now I’m not saying you have to hook up with “cat girl,” but you do owe it to your wing to attempt to keep her occupied so that she doesn’t blow up the whole thing. Now if your buddy is super smooth, he may not even need you here, BUT you should make every effort to help bring them along to the final destination (your wing and his girl to wherever he wants to take her). If you can get them there, and let’s say you are in the living room with stink breath, your work is pretty much over. Just try to be really boring and maybe stink breath will fall asleep and you can slip out the back door. Your buddy owes you one.
There are some other ways in which you can help "take one for the team"
For this next part I cite Rob Judge, a dating coach in NYC who has given me permission to pass on his words of wisdom on…Taking One For The Team
"Sometimes, however, a friend will not “play ball” with your wing. Maybe she’s jealous of her friend, has a serious boyfriend, or simply is not in the mood to meet guys. Regardless, your wing should read the situation and back off. He should try to minimize the resistance your girl’s friend may exert on you and your girl. He can do this by saying something like, “Hey look, I think you’re a cool girl, but I can see we’re not as into each other as our friends. So let’s just hang out and not feel awkward or feel like we need to be all over each other. But also, let’s give our friends space to get to know each other, too. They really seem to like each other. How long have you known your friend for?” From there, your wing should casually drop in some details that let’s her friend know you are a normal, safe guy (e.g. he should mention your job, education, where you live, your relationship with your family, etc.)."
Wow, great advice, Rob (Check out his site at Datehottergirls.com). I can see how you are turning the negativity into neutrality because instead of butting heads, you are both now agreeing to set up your friends. Neutralizing "mother hen" watching over her little chicks, THIS is the way to help your friend.
In the next entry, "103," we'll get into what you SHOULDN'T be doing as a wingman.