So I was thinking about this the other day and have tried this out to see if this has any external or internal affects. And it has worked without fail. Here’s the concept:
Alternating between talking to men and talking to women.
We all have our little things about ourselves that will prevent us from doing certain things. It all leads to approach anxiety. It’s natural and there’s really nothing you can do to get rid of it. BUT you can train yourself to be numb to those feelings to the point of just ignoring them. This can be applied especially to approach anxiety.
But think about this. As a guy, when have you ever been nervous about talking to another guy? When you go out to a bar next time, strike up conversation with the first guy you see. Now realize how frustrated you are because you talked to that guy to your left without any hesitation and you still can’t talk to the hot blonde sitting to your right.
Or can you?
When we have interactions, depending on how they go will depend on the likeliness we’ll strike up another random conversation with someone else, regardless of sex. It all comes down to momentum. For example, if you were to go out and give high-fives to everyone that you see, try to gauge how you feel as you get some and not get some. You may three in a row and feel awesome. Then someone tells you to go away and you lose some of that momentum. Then you get another one and you’re feeling good again. Then maybe you get another 6! That’s awesome! Then someone ignores you. At that point, you’ve had so many great high-fives that it doesn’t even matter that they ignored you. They’re definitely missing out on that high-five!
Same thing applies to talking to people. If you have a great conversation with a guy and energy is great, try and transfer that energy to a woman and see how it works out. You don’t even have to change conversation really (unless you’re talking about something that women would be offended by). See how that interaction goes. If it’s good, you’re going to feel good and want to continue to share the wealth.
Maybe it goes sour and she doesn’t really want to talk to you. She’s definitely missing out. Go talk to another guy or woman and recreate that spark you had inside. Or go back to someone that you previously talked to. Once it’s there again, talk to another hottie. Keep doing this until the positive vibes you have inside and out are consistent. This will prove many things.
1. You can talk to men and women the same way. This will inevitably get rid of that “pedestal theory” we have when we first meet attractive women.
2. You will create social proof in the room because you are seen talking to different people. Even more social proof if women see you talking to other women.
3. You will be as comfortable with women you don’t know as you are with men you don’t know. This will take a very long time but practice makes perfect to get over that anxiety.
4. You become a social dynamo and aren’t just going out to talk to women. You are talking to other guys as well and are seen as a networker, not creepy. Most people as know this as, “working a room.”
It can prove other things too but the rewards are endless. You become more sociable. You might come across new guy friends that you can hang out with on a regular basis. Maybe you’ll come across some new girl friends that will introduce you to other cool, and hot friends of theirs. You might even meet some cool people that can help you or hook you up out outside of the venue. I remember I met a guy who worked at another lounge and told me to stop by and check it out. When I stopped by, I was able to go right in the front of the line (which was massive) and got treated fairly well by everyone who worked there.
So try doing this and let me know how this goes. You will definitely notice that your feelings and energy level will fluctuate as you talk to more people. And hopefully when you alternate between men and women you will notice it even more. I would also recommend taking chances and disrupting the pattern. And I don’t mean talking to two guys in a row.