Every Tuesday, we ask people from Team Wingman & Twitter what they would like me to talk about. It could be a general topic or a direct question. I’ll choose the best one and later that day, I’ll write something and give tips addressing that topic or question.
Keep meeting dudes that are intimidated. How do I nab a confident dude?
I decided to take a different approach to this one and ask follow up questions to get a clearer idea. Then, we got to the heart of the issue. We'll go play-by-play. I want to thank her for allowing me to share this conversation anonymously as she is an awesome gal!
I asked her where she is going to meet her potentials? Her answer:
First problem: Not going out. You can't meet anyone if you're not going out and going to networking events or things that are work-oriented doesn't count. If it's work-oriented, it's work. Simple as that. If you want to meet people outside of your work, you have to go out to places for your own benefit, not your work's.
Then, she sent over this message:
I will always be the first to tell you that passion is sexy. But I'll share the secret to understanding why you think guys are intimidated in just a second. Here was my response:
Most guys aren't intimidated by the fact you have a lot going on. Their problem is they don't see how they could possibly fit into your life -- considering dating is a major responsibility of both time and emotion. Her response:
And here lies the issue with many women who are successful and career-oriented or hustling in the startup industry:
A guy WILL NOT do that if he doesn't see where he fits, if at all. With "all the things you have going on," you're indirectly telling him you don't have time for him. If you would like a guy to want to date you, it's important to show that you can have a life other than work -- that can include him.
Guys LOVE successful women. Guys also love women who do other things than work. It's important to find that work / life balance NOW while you can. Or else you will find yourself in a position VERY familiar with some women. 10 years later with a VERY successful career and not only unfulfilled relationship-wise but also with NO idea how to get there.
I know careers are important but your actual life is something you'll spend the rest of your life living, not your career.
If you'd like your question answered on the blog, be sure to send a tweet to me or post a question to Team Wingman.