This is Week 3 of the 2011 Dating and Lifestyle Kickstart Guide. Thursdays, we cover the dating aspect. If you missed it, here is week one's dating component. Here is week two.
I want to share something awesome that got lost in the fray. I helped a friend, Tim, on Twitter, who was also a client of mine, handle some important issues in his life. My advice, combined with his action, did so well for him, he was willing to pay for another client’s session with me.
And after working with the Alex for an hour, this is what he had to say shortly after,
Why am I showing you this? Not because I’m awesome. Well, maybe. But more because if you take action, YOU can be awesome. Getting advice isn’t enough. It’s what you do with it that matters.
This week is about understanding the process you create for yourself, and tweaking until it works. Dating can take more time to turnover than your social life. Chances are you’re working on more facets of your dating life, which will have a longer turnaround.
Last week, I helped you create a little more efficiency in your dating so you can focus on where you’re quality matches are. Many of you have asked me,
Ok, so I’m there now. What do I do? How do I approach? What do I say?
I have a ton of content about how to approach, what to say and what to do. That’s actually not the point of this post. It’s about trying things out and adjusting along the way. Here are my most popular posts when it comes to approaching and connecting with women (and men).
Approaching 101
The Pros & Cons of Approaching Women Directly
#wingtip: 4 Keys to Dating Success
How to Maintain Conversations with Women?
How Storytelling Can Help Your Interactions With Women
Now, let's talk about pickup lines. Not the kinds you say to women. You should know me better than that. We’re talking about the kinds you say to yourself.
The dating process can be difficult and you’ll be going through many ups and downs. Your confidence will fluctuate and some nights, you’ll be able to walk up to whomever you please - and they will love you.
Other nights, you won’t even think you’re in their league. Either way, you need to create consistency sowhether you’re having a great night or a crappy one, your mindset will still drive you to make positive decisions and create momentum moving forward.
Remember, this whole process isn’t about anyone else but YOU. A better you means a better life for yourself and the people around you.
So how do you create pickup lines for yourself? First, let’s talk about why pickup lines exist in the first place.
They were designed to sweep women off their feet and fall helplessly in love with you. Yup, that’s the scientific truth. But, really, the point was to put women at ease and to not only make them feel good about themselves, but also you.
Pickup lines for yourself are special affirmations that will allow you get past any struggles, anxieties and sticking points you may have.
I remember when I struggled with believing I deserved the quality women I thought I deserved. It held me back for a really long time because since I wasn’t convinced I deserved them, women saw it in my body language andpresentation.
How could I disagree with them? I was blatantly showing it. Then something occurred that changed my whole perspective on quality women or women you think are “out of your league.”
“As hot and amazing as a woman is, it’s not far-fetched to think there’s a guy out there who’s dated and can’t stand her.”
This wasn’t designed to be a knock on her by any means. This was meant to convince me that this “perfect” woman who could do no wrong in my eyes, was far from that. I’m sure she’s dated other men and if she was so perfect, why is she single?
While that may not necessarily be true in reality, it wasn’t as important as giving myself the confidence in my own reality to approach her.
After a few successful conversation with these “untouchable” women, my confidence shot through the roof.
You can use these pickup lines for whatever issue you’re having.
When it comes to handling rejection, I tell my clients the best baseball players of all-time were only able to hit the ball safely about 30% percent of the time.
And even when contact was made, many times they were called out. And many of them struck out a great deal.
Rejection is a part of any process of life. It’s only those who accept it and find out how they can still be successful, really DO become great.
When you go out this weekend, continue to fail - get as much of it of the way as possible. Try out new things. Experiment. Make mistakes. Keep track of everything so you can go back, look and see what worked and what didn’t. But most importantly, have fun.
It’s always better to try and say you did something than to do nothing.
When you’re 85 years old and not able to do some the things you used to do, you don’t want to talk about what you should have done. You’ll want to look back and say you’re glad you did that.
Action plan for the weekend: Pretty much the same as your lifestyle action plan. Continue to track the adjustments you make and the improvements you see.
This is the time to get as much experimentation out there as possible because next week, this Kickstart Guide will end and you’ll be given more action items focused on furthering your long-term development.
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